How to Be the Perfect Guest at Friendsgiving (or any holiday party!)

Imagine this: The aroma of roasted turkey, the clinking of fine china, and laughter filling the air. You walk in the room and you are underdressed, empty handed and late.  Whoops.  Definitely not ideal.  Having the knowledge of how to be a guest can help you avoid some embarrassing moments and awkward moments for the host of the party. 

Holiday dinner parties are not just about the feast; they're about the connections we make, the memories we create. Being a good guest is not just about enjoying the meal but enhancing the experience for everyone involved. It’s about the details and what many people forget is that the details are not just for the host.  There is an elegance that comes with being the ultimate guest.  It doesn’t matter if the dress code is pajamas or black-tie.  There are ways to show up to be your absolute best.  Here's your guide to mastering the art of being a guest at these festive gatherings.

 

1. RSVP with Grace

First things first, when you get that invitation, respond promptly. Your host needs to plan, and your timely RSVP shows respect for their efforts. If you have dietary restrictions or allergies, let them know early. This gives your host the opportunity to accommodate your needs or at least be prepared to explain what might cause you issues.

 

2. Dress Appropriately

Whether it's an ugly sweater party or a formal dinner, make sure your attire matches the occasion. If there's a theme, embrace it. It may be out of your comfort zone but the host is going out of her way to connect a them through the entire party, likely all the way from decor to food and drinks…so have some fun with it.  Comfort is key, but so is showing that you've put in some effort for the event.

 

3. Bring a Thoughtful Gift

Never show up empty-handed. A good host gift can be:

- A nice bottle of wine or spirits.

- A bouquet of flowers or a plant for their home.

- A homemade dessert or a specialty item from your culture or region.

- A small, personal gift like a book, a candle, or something that reflects an interest of the host.  Check out our holiday gift-giving section for some ideas!   

Creativity here can make your gift memorable.

 

4. Offer to Help

Upon arrival, offer your assistance. Whether it's setting the table, helping with last-minute preparations, or serving drinks, your willingness to help is always appreciated. Even if they decline, the offer speaks volumes. After dinner, assist with cleanup. This is often a time when hosts appreciate a helping hand the most.

 

5. Mingle and Engage

Parties are about people.

- Start conversations with open-ended questions like, "What are you most looking forward to this holiday season?"

- Avoid controversial subjects unless you know the crowd well and they're open to such discussions.

- Listen as much as you talk. People love to feel heard.

Make an effort to include everyone, especially those who might be quieter or new to the group.

 

6. Respect House Rules

Every home has its rules:

- If there's a no-smoking policy, respect it.

- Be cautious with alcohol consumption.

- If pets or children are around, be mindful of their needs and spaces.

 

7. Mind Your Manners

Good manners never go out of style:

- Wait for the host to start eating before you begin.

- Use your napkin correctly.

- Compliment the meal specifically – "This stuffing is divine!" or "How did you make these potatoes so creamy?"

 

8. Know When to Leave

All good things must end. Unfortunately.  Look for cues like the host beginning to tidy up or if the party naturally winds down. Thank your host for the wonderful evening before you leave.

I love to be the host.  It’s my favorite role to play.  Having a room full of people willing to help, paying attention to the surroundings and not getting out of control are always very appreciated.  While I may be a control freak and like to stick to my plan, knowing people care is such a great feeling. 

Being a great guest at a holiday dinner party can make the event a great experience for everyone. Your manners, your engagement, and your appreciation can turn a simple meal into a cherished memory. Remember, the next time you're at such a gathering, apply these tips. And don't forget, a follow-up thank you note or message can make you a legend in your hosts' eyes.

 

Share your own tips or stories in the comments below. Let's make this holiday season memorable for all the right reasons.